By JeffCatsBookClub on Jun 25, 2016 at 12:28 PM
=O.O= Book Club Bulletin =O.O= Summer is finally here, so JeffCat's Book Club wants to know which books you'll be reading as you enjoy the summer sun. Make a lol about your current favorite and leave the link on the book club's dash =O.O= http://cheezburger.com/8811798784
By SovaPlum on May 31, 2016 at 12:37 AM
Ohai Wiggles! I'm glad to see you think you are doing well in your new careerer. A positive attitude is an asset to any endeavour! ___ You asked for some murderous tips? WELL! I can help you there. And I need to. Your ratings have been a wee bit disappointing. As slasher shows go I've seen better. So have a lot of people. So how about some sex? Sex is always popular. Especially combined with violence. May I suggest an oldie but a goodie? Lite Greek yoghurt mixed with equal parts honey and peanut butter. Add a dash of vanilla essence and finish with arsenic. Invite some lonely demon over to eat you for dinner. NOTE! Only apply the tasty treat just before your date is due to arrive. Arsenic applied topically is itchy. Set the mood with strobe lighting - more dramatic for your viewers - and some disco music performed on the chainsaw. Oh, and since it's you, I'm sending a rat to deliver you some glitter-gel for you hair. He should swim up a toilet near you soon. Good Luck!
By SovaPlum on Apr 10, 2016 at 10:07 PM
Oh Wiggles! How you make me larf! You took your contract tho Cthulhu? He Who Rends Souls Limb From Limb? For giggles? Cthulhu whom to look upon is to be rendered mad? . . . Well,that explains a lot. Me, I only gaze upon Him via multiple layers of Protection. But you? Oh dear.Wiggles, Wiggles, Wiggles. Well all I can say is, thank you! for notifying me of your intention to violate you contract via Descendence. I have set my Vessel's sensors to track you and contacted the Evil Incarnations that run all reality TV and registered you new show. Your Damnation and Humiliation Show should get me well on my way to my own Starkiller Base. Gosh. This is very exciting. Have a healthy energy snack for you journey. *fills a large bowl with steaming popcorn, stirs in butter, dusts with Angel Dust icing sugar, places on transporter, presses Make It So*
By SovaPlum on Mar 28, 2016 at 12:17 AM
Ohai Wiggles! Oh u Silly Thing! I see you didn't read through your Employee Agreement Contract. It CLEARY states, in the reverse Swahili sub section of the CViiX micro print clause that you agree to the Voluntary Optional Re-enlistment Claws clause. This, of course, meant that you voluntarily agreed to grant me the option to re-enlist you at any time for any reason in perpetuity! So you aint going anywhere, SUCKER! __ I am very proud of this clause. I lifted it from the U.S.A. army enlistment contract and expanded upon it. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
By SovaPlum on Mar 19, 2016 at 10:34 PM
Ohai Wiggles! I have read your Employee Feedback and evaluated it by your Employee Evaluation Status. I am happy to inform you that your Employee Status is too low for your opinions to have relevance. I am also happy to inform you that I fixed my blackmatter cathode tube T.V. by refilling the tubes with glitter made from the transmogrified dragon flames by the Rainbow Bronnies who kicked their dragon arses in battle. So I feel much better now. *settles onto couch with large bowl of buttered popcorn dusted with icing sugar, tunes t.v. to 11th dimension, dons 12D viewing goggles, watches The All Cthulhu Review*
By SovaPlum on Mar 9, 2016 at 10:33 PM
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Don't complain?!?!?! *slap* Don't tell ME what to do!!!!! *slap!* I *slap* HATE *slap!* back *slap!* seat *slap!* drivers *SLAP*!!! YOU REMIND ME OF MY MOTHER!!!!!!!! *slap slap SLAP* AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!! *runs off to happy place to watch Bronies fight dragons with glitter paint guns*
By SovaPlum on Feb 15, 2016 at 9:07 PM
Ohai Wigggles! Human Declaration of Rights? What's that? We have a Right Wing Government In New Zealand. Rights are an irrelevance when we are free to enjoy being cowed in to submission by politicians we freely and voluntarily election in a honest and transparent election! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go swill down some radiator coolant before they come to allow me to freely and voluntarily donate my last kidney to a visiting Chinese business man.
By SovaPlum on Jan 11, 2016 at 8:16 PM
Ohai Wiggles! Thank you for the theological clarification. Always good to have the Dogma current! ___ I haven't had any symptoms yet. I'm sleeping a lot more but I suspect that's because my t.v. broke and there's nothing good on the inter-web most nights. How's the bedsores? Tried rinsing with salty water?
By SovaPlum on Jan 2, 2016 at 4:24 PM
Ohai Wiggles! You've changed religion? AGAIN?! Well in that case you'd best not try to claim a tax refund on your sparkly shoes as a work expense. You might get into trouble with the IRS. Or whatever you call you tax collectors. ___ It's a Good Thing you sent that Beastie back when you did. I can see it's Mind-controle Meowing was beginning to affect you! It has been hired out to Disney's Star Wars Department where the Jedi - the ones that went into hiding at the end of the prequels - can keep it under control. Now that it's gone I hope you are feeling more yourself and are able to enjoy Happy New Beers! festivites.
By JeffCatsBookClub on Dec 4, 2015 at 5:48 AM
=O.O= Book Club Bulletin =O.O= It is that time of the year again: JeffCat's Book Club makes room for Santa Season, and welcomes all your seasonal lolz and wishes. Just leave a message on the book club's dash =O.O= http://cheezburger.com/8591354624
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