Ohai Wiggles! What? Booze as a cure for memory loss? I don't remember that ever working for me. Is there a special booze for that? I'll try anything once.___As for why I had to visit Dr Tiny Cat. Well, some dim wit new to Ladies Fight Night tried some T.V. wrestling moves on me. She didn't know they are potentially lethal if performed incorrectly. What a Thicko. Luckily I had an adamantium skeleton installed for April Fools Day. Alas, having no healing powers, the soft tissue was extensive. Worse! The bastardsput me on a diet!___ Now if you'll excuse me, I have some medicinal Hot Dogs to c see to
Ohai Wiggles! Just back from hospital. I so totally lost at Ladies Fight Night this month. Happily, no-one stole my sâke. That Stealth Ninja Antarctic Penguin Security (SNAPS) is worth every penny! What have you been up to lately? Hows the memory loss? Any flash backs? I have an ointment for that if you need it. TTFN
Ohai Wiggles! Listen very carefully. I will say this only once. Paint Your Forehead Orange So I Can Find You. All slaves cry for the mothers or species equivalent thereof. Better also offer you egg up for raffling. There's no way you'll be allowed to keep it now. So you might as well get what money you can before they come to take you away.
*blinks rapidly, rubs eyes* WiGGLES! Do my eyes deceive me? Are you under the impression that you can sell rancor MEAT!? That this will get you enough money to buy the company served by the most feared lawyers in the universe?!?! Wiggles *slap* that *smuggler is an undercover SPCR agent! Wake up and spell the Slave Colony! *SLAP*
Ohai Wiggles. Who said I expect you to stop stealing? What would be the point of that? If you're prepared to take the consequences then who am I to say nay? I just would miss you if you ran afoul of the Big Baddies. If you're gonna buy forgiveness from His Holiness of the Vacuum, you'll be needing to raffle offthat rancor pronto. And don't feed it jedis! That will devalue it.
Ohai Wiggles! Do you realize you will only have to deal with lawyers if you actually go ahead and steal copyrighted material? I don't need to forgive you as I wasn't mad. Just very worried. As it happens, I haven't given your name to the SPCR. You can keep the rancor for so long as you are a good Daddy to it. Or do you reckon you'll need the funds anyway? Let me know soon, I haven't put tickets on sale yet but interest is high.
Ohai Wiggles! I tried to get a betting pool going on how long the Disney lawyers would let you think you stood a chance. But none of the girls at Ladies Fight Night believed you could make a Balrog do your bidding. As for white Walkers. Seriously? Don't you know you have to be bitten by a vampire to become a lawyer? Vampires are immune to those that fed on the living. *sighs sadly* I'm afraid you just come across scared and desperate. There is a raffel to adopt your baby rancor though. Ladies love a rancor. Here's a happy place to comfort you in your hour on STUPIDITY!!!!!!! *visualizes Deanna Troy putting baby yeties on lolruses to ride in snow races*
Ohai Wiggles! Wait! What! Wiggles, don't you know what happened after this? . . .http://cheezburger.com/6848048640 The SPCR (The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Rancors) formed an Action Group, fund raised until they could afford to sue Jabba the Hutt for Failing To Provide A Safe Work Place. Who do you think they hired to do the job? DISNEY!!!! Why do you think Disney managed to acquire Lucas Film for a measly 7 billion? And you want to set a baby rancor on them? *sighs regretfully* Well, it was nice knowing you, Wiggles. Let me know what factory you'll be slaving at and I'll see if I can send you some sâke. *goes to happy place, watches little yeties wrestling with Mr Spock and Scotty*
Ohai Wiggles! What religion forbids paying for copy-righted materials? I feel it's only fair to tell you I employed Disney's attorneys to negotiate Itchee Slap Slap San's contract with the Pan Galactic Cloxxsidum Empire. There are Serious penaltiy clauses. You may find yourself part of a Hive-minded clone-slave labour force. Since you have so much snow, you might try inviting Itchee Slap Slap San's little yeti child (yup, they still haven't named it) to play. He might send some of his Folding Fan disciples as nannies. You could trick them into dancing for you! There's no charge for improvised, live shows. What are you reading right now? I'm revisiting some Teen Vampire Global Conspiracy stuff myself. And a Halo novelization. Both a bit MEH.
P.s. Re the Winds of Winter. No publication date as yet. While you wait I suggest some educational material such as The Stranger In A Strange Land followed by Barefaced Messiah. . . . Oh yeah. And my cats didn't eat those eyeballs. They ransomed them for beef steaks! ?=^.^=?
Ohai Wiggles! Oh no sunshine. You don't get to see the Joyous Naked Fan-dance for free. You'll have to pony up for a black matter cathode tube universal T.V. like the rest of us. As disciples of Itchy Slap Slap san, all public appearances are automatically copyrighted anyway. Hard cheese! mwahahahah!!!!