I discovered my love for pineapples back in Vietnam. I had just singlehandedly destroyed the communism when Hellboy opened a portal and Princess Leia drove out in Optimus Prime. He transformed into robot form which unfortunately killed Leia. Anyways Optimus Prime killed me with his laser rockets. He then transformed into megaton somehow and rebuilt the communism. I woke up in a town called Rivendell where an elf named Elrond told me I had to destroy the ring. I obviously had no idea what he was ...I discovered my love for pineapples back in Vietnam. I had just singlehandedly destroyed the communism when Hellboy opened a portal and Princess Leia drove out in Optimus Prime. He transformed into robot form which unfortunately killed Leia. Anyways Optimus Prime killed me with his laser rockets. He then transformed into megaton somehow and rebuilt the communism. I woke up in a town called Rivendell where an elf named Elrond told me I had to destroy the ring. I obviously had no idea what he was talking about until some creepy little hobbit name Gollum told me that we had gotten married in Vegas. I then decided that I would use my black magic to summon the queen of darkness to divorce us. I spoke the magic words and Lady Gaga appeared in a meat bikini. I thought that she was angry but I couldn't tell because she had her poker face on. We went to BK and and got slushies. Then she threw the golden pineapple of awesomeness at me. I got a concussion and grew a mustache.
